DIY storage solutions, Better Homes and Gardens, 1977
STEAL THIS LOOK!
1. Walls are great, but so blank. Fix this problem by filling your walls with CREEPY CHILD FACES and ANONYMOUS MUSTACHIOED MEN. Ideally, they should be staring at the side of your head all the time so you can kind of see them but not directly.
2. Same with curtains. No one must see inside.
3. Desk walls are the worst so get an even CREEPIER PICTURE OF A CHILD and put it JUST TO THE LEFT OF YOUR LINE OF VISION. For the right: warthog.
4. Creepy doll above? YES.
5. This is all going to give you the sweats so tape a fan to the wall in front of you.
6. Carpet? Check. Shag? Check. Color? Kind of an orange-vomit? Check.
7. Deeply suggestive seashell? You know it! Put it above your head so you can reach up and touch it.
Now you have a workspace from which you can plan your killing spree.
"Please don’t, above all, plant me in your heart. I grow too quick."